Little Boy forever in my heart

Holy shit, I write this huge blog and POOF...it's gone. I hate blogger. I really hate blogger. I hate it hate it hate it.
here goes............AGAIN.
Alot has happened since I blogged last. As always right. I miss the old aol journals and although I blog on facebook, it's not the same. Even family and friends feel like invaders to my private thoughts, and I know you can make it private but then you get bombed with why it's private and then I feel like hell, so I find I hold back. A lot.
I have so much to say, yet I know exactly where I need to start, it's not a pretty story, but one I have to get off my heavy heart.
Easter was the best Easter of my life, it always will be. It is the day I met my baby cousin Cameron, just over 2 mths old. I held him for 4 1/2 hours straight, while the family mingled on a perfectly sunny day I sat happily in the living room with Cameron, smelling his sweet skin, feeling his perfectly soft head and watching him sleep. You know exactly what I'm talking about when you hold a infant again after years of not doing so, they melt you.
A month later Cameron was baptized, again, another beautiful perfect sun shinney day and he was fussy and I put him over my shoulder and he fell asleep. That would be the last I would hold Cameron.
3 days later my mom called as I sat in my car waiting to go into a client/patient home. She said, I have some very sad news to tell you...she paused and I said "what". "Cameron passed away today"
It was the first time in my LIFE that I was completely unable to comprehend what she was saying, I just couldn't process it, I kept saying "WHAT" "WHAT" and it hit me...Cameron, she had to repeat his name and Elwyn's name. I lost it right there in my car.
How could my 4mth old healthy cousin pass away? He was taking a nap and his mom picked him up at the sitters while he was in bed and he was already "gone". They called 911, did what they said, waited for medics and rushed to hospital. Cameron died 1 day shy of 4mths. 4 days later we had Mothers Day and I can't even begin to tell you what that was like for the family. The next day on Monday they buried Cameron.
We arrived at the funeral home, we were just behind Camerons parents Elwyn & Jenn and Cameron's big sister Tayla (3), the casket looked more like a bassinet that sat on a long table, Tayla sat up on the table and was leaning over his casket talking to hom, she was showing him the bracelet I made her with her birthstone and Camerons birthstone,,,"This stone here is yours Cameron and this one is Mine" she said happily.."Mommy has one to, show him your bracelet mommy"..she was patting his head that had a white satin hat that matched his white baptismal suit. She continued talking to mommy and Cameron and she touched his little hand and said to her mom "Why is he so cold mommy?". That is when I broke. I just fell apart and turned and rushed to the bathroom. I composed myself and waited to go back out.
NOBODY...NOBODY should ever see a infant, a baby, a child in a casket. He didn't look like Cameron, he looked like a doll.
I just don't understand.
His parents had insurance on their daughter but none on Cameron yet. There are many expenses that most don't realize until they are in the financial whirl of paying for death. Not to mention they are still paying for his birth.
We are a struggling family to, our household income is barely afloat (more on that later). I have started to make my jewelry again and right now I am making mothers/grandmothers/memory/you name it bracelets and 100% of the proceeds go to Cameron Glenn Memorial fund to help pay for the cost of the funeral.
I am asking all of you to pass this information, and or link around. Thank you, much love
http://www.cameronglennmemorial.etsy.com/ I can also be mailed at CameronGlennMemorial@yahoo.com I wish I had more to say, I just feel a pit in my stomach. Life is not fair, I am angry that children get taken to soon away from mom and dads. I know that's life, but I don't have to like it.
Much love
Angie

4 stone family bracelet is $11.00 + $3.00 shipping (that covers padded envelope and shipping)

2 Stone bracelet is $10.00 + shipping

Hope Love Faith (customizable colored stones) $15.00 + shipping

I won't lie, this one is costly, it's sterling silver plated, solid sterling silver clasp, copper wire and swarvoski black mystic crystals with 3 swarvoski pearls. This is the only one, I won't duplicate it and don't expect to have it long on my etsy site. $35.00 + shipping